Our adult son moved out, but says turning his room into an office means he can't come home. What should we discuss?
Family“So you've packed me away already,” our twenty-four-year-old said when I sent him a picture of the desk in his old bedroom.
He moved into his own flat three months ago. We had discussed using the room as an office because I've been working at the kitchen table. He said, “Sure, I won't be using it.” I took that literally and moved his trophies and books into labelled boxes without checking whether he wanted to help.
There is still a bed in the room. He can stay when he visits, but it won't look like the room he left. He says he didn't realise I meant changing it this quickly. My partner thinks we should put everything back for a while. I would lose the workspace I had just set up, and the boxes would be open again with no plan for their contents.
I don't want a desk to stand for whether he belongs here. I also don't want to leave the room untouched whenever he might miss it.
What should we revisit: the way I handled his things, the timing of the change, or what coming home will look like now?