My siblings split family restaurant bills three ways, but my son and I order much less. Can I change that?
Family“It's easier if each family pays a third,” my sister said as she passed me the restaurant total.
It was Mum's birthday lunch. My brother and sister each came with a partner and their children. I came with my eight-year-old. Our meals were about $32; my share of the full bill was $120. I had expected us to share Mum's meal and pay for our own orders.
Nobody had discussed payment before booking. At previous lunches I paid the equal share without saying anything because I didn't want to examine everyone's plates. This time I quietly asked to pay for ours plus a contribution to Mum's. My brother said changing it at the table made a birthday lunch feel mean.
I paid the $120. There is another family lunch planned next month, and I want to raise it before anyone orders. My siblings sometimes cover bigger shared expenses elsewhere, so I don't want to act as though this bill is the entire history of who contributes.
What is a fair way to suggest a different arrangement without turning each meal into an audit of who had dessert?