My child wanted to wave instead of hug his aunt. How do I repair my own response?
Family“Give Auntie a proper hug. She's come a long way,” I told my eight-year-old when he stayed by the doorway.
My sister lives abroad and hadn't seen him for two years. She arrived with a model plane he was excited to build, opened her arms and looked disappointed when he waved. I filled the silence by prompting him. He went over but looked at me the whole time.
Later he said, “I wanted to say hello. I just didn't want the hug.” I told him he could choose next time, which sounded weak even as I said it. I had just shown him that my sister's disappointment might change the answer.
My sister isn't trying to frighten him. She remembers the toddler who used to climb onto her lap and is adjusting to a bigger child who knows her mostly from calls. She is staying with us for a week.
How do I apologise to him and explain the change to her without describing her affection as something bad? I want the next greeting to feel less like an exam for all three of us.