My vegan cousin brings her own meal to family dinners. Can I ask Mum to include one shared dish?
Family“She can bring whatever she eats,” Mum said when I suggested making one starter everyone could share.
My cousin has been vegan for two years. At our monthly dinner she brings a container, heats it and sits with us while we eat Mum's usual roast. She says she doesn't expect Mum to learn a whole new menu. Last time, though, she asked whether we could pass her one of the side dishes before remembering none of the prepared dishes suited what she eats.
I offered to make a bean dish for the next dinner and told Mum it could be the shared starter. Mum said I was implying she had been a bad host. She spends much of Saturday preparing these dinners and likes serving the food she knows.
My cousin hasn't asked me to campaign for her. I don't want to turn her container into a public symbol of exclusion if she finds the arrangement comfortable. I do want the table to feel a little more shared.
Should I ask my cousin first, bring the dish as an ordinary contribution, or drop the suggestion?