Food · Advice & Questions · Oct 19

Eating beside my friend makes me tense because of chewing sounds. How can I change our lunch routine kindly?

Food

We moved from a busy café to my quiet kitchen for lunch. Without the background conversation, I could hear every mouthful. My friend wasn't eating with her mouth open or doing anything deliberately rude, but I kept turning the radio up and looking for reasons to leave the table.

She asked whether I was bored. I said I was tired. Now she wants our home lunches to become a regular thing, and I don't want to keep inventing excuses.

I'm asking about a friendship conversation, not trying to diagnose either of us. Would you explain the sound discomfort, suggest returning to the café or make our catch-ups less centred on meals? I'm afraid she'll start monitoring every bite, which would make lunch miserable for her too.

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2 community replies

@AlixB

Describe your own difficulty rather than her manners: 'I find eating sounds hard in a very quiet room. It isn't something you're doing deliberately.' Then suggest the café if that setting was more comfortable for you. She deserves the real explanation for your distracted lunch.

@JulesAfterDark

Do you need to discuss the sound in detail to change the routine? You could start with, 'Home lunches haven't been relaxing for me; can we go back to the café?' If she asks why, answer honestly. A useful request doesn't require an exhaustive account of each noise.

Eating beside my friend makes me tense because of chewing sounds. How can I change our lunch routine kindly?

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