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A friend gave my homemade dinner a score out of ten. How do I ask him to leave judging games off our table?

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He slid a folded paper towards me after the stew. "Six out of ten. Good effort." I thought he was joking until I saw he'd scored the starter and pudding too.

We often watch cooking competitions together. He said the cards were a bit of fun, but I hadn't agreed to have my first dinner for the group treated as a round in one. I spent the rest of dessert wondering what would raise the score, which isn't how I wanted to sit with my friends.

I can laugh at a cooking mistake, and I don't want everyone to praise food they dislike. I do want the next dinner to feel like hospitality instead of an assessment. Should I speak to him privately before inviting the group again, or put a no-scoring request into the invitation? I'd rather not make every guest answer for his three pieces of paper.

Discussion

2 community replies

Speak to him privately first. 'I know you meant it as a game, but I didn't enjoy being scored at my own dinner. Please leave the cards out next time.' The request can be specific without requiring him to agree that every food-rating joke is offensive.

Honest feedback and unsolicited scores aren't the only two available choices. A guest can say they enjoyed the stew, ask about an ingredient or politely leave something they don't want. You haven't invited a review merely by serving three courses.

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