Should we play a recording of my late dad at the wedding if I don't want to hear it publicly?
Weddings"I've found the birthday video where he gives the toast," Mum said. She wants the editor to turn Dad's words into a wedding message before dinner.
He died three years ago. I love hearing his voice at home. I don't want to hear it unexpectedly through speakers in a room full of people watching me. Mum says she was planning to ask my permission; she has only spoken to the editor about what might be possible.
My partner would rather we kept a photograph near the family table. His father has also died, and he doesn't want a matching tribute or a section of the evening devoted to explaining both losses.
I haven't told Mum a definite no. Part of me worries that declining the recording will sound like declining Dad's place in the day. Part of me wishes she hadn't found it until after the wedding.
How can we include what matters to us without turning the reception into the moment when I have to discover whether I can listen to that video in public?