Weddings · Advice & Questions · Oct 17

How do we keep a bouquet toss from becoming a roll call of single friends?

Weddings

The DJ asked for the names of our unmarried women guests. Mum had told him he could call them up individually for the bouquet toss.

I'd pictured an invitation for anybody who wanted to join. My friend has already said she doesn't want to take part. Mum thinks she'll enjoy it once the room cheers her on. I think that means the room will be cheering at somebody who asked to stay in her seat.

My partner is happy to drop the toss. I still like the photograph I imagined: a few people laughing and reaching for flowers. I don't like the version where we need a list to make that happen.

Can we keep it as a genuinely optional moment, or is cancelling it simpler now that other people have started organising it for us?

Discussion

2 community replies

@northstar88

Tell the DJ directly that you don't want names called. Your friend's refusal shouldn't depend on whether your mother remembers it once the music starts.

@softfocus

There may be plenty of people who would enjoy an open invitation. You can find that out without treating the people who stay seated as a problem the microphone needs to solve.

How do we keep a bouquet toss from becoming a roll call of single friends?

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