Food · Advice & Questions · Oct 20

My friend arranged a restaurant birthday song after I asked for a quiet dinner. How do I prevent a repeat?

Food

The dessert came with three staff members, a candle and a song. My friend was filming. I'd told her before booking that I wanted a quiet birthday dinner with no surprise performance.

I smiled because the staff were already there, then asked her to stop recording. On the way home she said I'd looked happy and should appreciate the effort. I did appreciate dinner. I didn't enjoy having to perform gratitude for an extra I had specifically declined.

She's suggested the same restaurant for another celebration. How do I make the next plan clear without blaming staff who were acting on her request? I don't want my polite reaction at the table to become evidence that I secretly wanted the song.

Discussion

2 community replies

@maren17

Tell her that your smile was a way to get through an awkward moment, not a change of mind. Repeat what you requested before dinner and ask her not to arrange performances or recordings for you again. You can thank her for the meal separately.

@northstar88

The staff only knew what they were told. If you return, you could ask privately what information they can note about your booking. Don't assume they have a particular system or that a request from you will prevent somebody else changing the plan.

My friend arranged a restaurant birthday song after I asked for a quiet dinner. How do I prevent a repeat?

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