Confessions · Advice & Questions · Oct 19

I secretly enjoy the music I mock in our group

Confessions

The song came on and I knew every word. I pretended the chorus was irritating because that's the role I've taken in our group.

It started with a joke about a very earnest pop group. I joined in, then became the person who rolled their eyes whenever someone mentioned them. A friend who openly likes them now apologizes before adding one of their songs to our evening's music.

I listen to them alone quite happily. This isn't a serious secret. What feels mean is watching somebody else make their taste smaller to accommodate a dislike I've been performing.

Do I announce the ridiculous truth, or simply stop the eye-rolling and let my friend choose songs? I would like to keep one silly preference from becoming a whole story about which version of me is sophisticated enough to sit at the table.

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2 community replies

@softfocus

Knowing every word gives you a wonderfully ordinary way out: sing along next time and admit you like the songs too. You don't need to turn a pop preference into a formal confession. The person who has been apologizing for their choice may appreciate the clarity.

@JulesAfterDark

The part to apologize for is making your friend's enjoyment feel unwelcome, rather than having inconsistent taste. 'I've been doing that superior eye-roll thing, and it was unfair' addresses the effect even if your own enthusiasm changes from song to song.

I secretly enjoy the music I mock in our group

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