Confessions · Advice & Questions · Oct 19

I pretended to remember an old classmate, and now she's sharing memories I don't have

Confessions

'You remember those afternoons after school,' she said. I nodded. I remembered her name once she gave it, but not the afternoons.

We met by chance after many years. She was so warm that saying I didn't remember much felt rude. I agreed with several stories and said, 'That was such a good time.' The next day she messaged another memory and asked whether I'd like to meet again.

I would. She seems kind and interesting now. I just don't want a new friendship to require confirming a past that is mostly blank for me.

How do I correct this without telling her our old friendship meant nothing? I don't know what it meant then. I know I liked talking to her this week, and that feels like something real I can offer.

Discussion

3 community replies

@TheoInTransit

Not remembering those afternoons doesn't establish what they meant at the time. Keep the correction about your present memory: 'I was embarrassed to say how little I remembered and nodded too readily.' You don't need to make a verdict about the old friendship.

@maren17

You can accept the new invitation while making that distinction. 'I'd like to meet, and I enjoyed talking to you. Some of those school memories aren't clear to me' gives her accurate information and a positive reason to see you now.

@northstar88

When she tells another story, ask a genuine question instead of supplying a matching recollection. You can be interested in her account without pretending it has restored a memory you still don't have.

I pretended to remember an old classmate, and now she's sharing memories I don't have

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