How do I explain that picking peanuts off food doesn't make it safe for my child?
Parenting"I'll lift the peanuts off her portion," my aunt said, reaching for the serving spoon. I stopped her before she served my eight-year-old.
My daughter has a diagnosed peanut allergy. We had brought her own lunch to the family picnic, but my aunt had made a dish especially for the children and felt rejected. She said she had already removed the visible nuts from one corner.
[FARE explains that small amounts of allergen can remain through contact between foods](https://www.foodallergy.org/resources/avoiding-cross-contact). I won't use picking the peanuts off as a safety plan. The awkward part is that my aunt often looks after my daughter, and yesterday she said, "If you don't trust my food, how can you trust me with her?"
We already have instructions from her clinician, including an emergency plan. I thought we'd discussed them with everyone who cares for her. This exchange makes me think we had discussed the name of the allergy more than what looking after her involves.
What would you say before the next afternoon at my aunt's? I want to preserve the relationship, but not by leaving the misunderstanding in place.
