What can I promise my daughter when she tells me about bullying but asks me not to contact school?
Parenting"I'll tell you, but you can't email anyone." My twelve-year-old held her phone behind her back until I said I would listen first.
She showed me messages from three classmates mocking how she speaks and arranging to take her seat at lunch. She says versions of this have happened for three weeks. She doesn't want to change schools or leave the lunch area. She wants them to stop, and she fears an email will become the next thing they mock.
I haven't promised secrecy. I have also resisted my first impulse, which was to send the screenshots to the class parents' group. My husband wants the school contacted tomorrow. My daughter wants a week to try staying beside one friend who knows what's happening.
[StopBullying.gov recommends listening and working with the child and school on protection](https://www.stopbullying.gov/prevention/support-the-children-involved), rather than telling the child simply to ignore it. How do I give her a meaningful say without making the whole response depend on her agreeing to an email? I want her to keep telling us, not learn that telling us means losing every choice.