Weddings · Advice & Questions · Oct 18

Should I RSVP yes to a wedding before my work rota is confirmed?

Weddings

The RSVP closes on Friday. My manager won't confirm next month's rota until Tuesday. I have requested the Saturday off, but it hasn't been approved.

The couple need their meal numbers on Monday. I asked whether I could answer late, and they said they'd love me there but couldn't extend the deadline. I don't think they're being difficult; they've already asked the caterer.

My friend says I should tick yes because a shift can usually be swapped. I haven't found anybody willing to swap yet. If I tick no and get the day off, I may miss the wedding. If I tick yes and can't change the shift, the couple may pay for a place I can't use.

I'm leaning towards declining with an honest explanation. I wish the invitation had a box for "I really want to, and that's all I can confirm."

Discussion

3 community replies

@MorganSays

You have an actual deadline and an actual uncertainty. Tell your manager about Friday and ask whether the request can be decided sooner. If it can't, make the RSVP using what is confirmed, rather than your friend's confidence about swaps.

@TheoInTransit

The couple have already answered the late-response question. Asking them to hold a tentative place again may only transfer the uncertainty to a deadline they can't change.

@maren17

Could you attend a later part of the celebration if your shift allows it? Ask only about a concrete arrangement that would fit their plans. An evening visit isn't an automatic substitute for the invitation you've received.

Should I RSVP yes to a wedding before my work rota is confirmed?

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