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Our potluck has three desserts and no main dish. Do I need to change the cake I already promised?

Illustration of lemon cake ingredients and an empty mixing bowl with two desserts behind.Food

I'd bought the ingredients for a lemon cake when the final potluck messages arrived: brownies, fruit tart and my cake. The only other contribution was a bag of crisps.

The host messaged me privately: "You're the most confident cook. Could you do something savoury instead?" I could, but I'd promised the cake early, and the ingredients cost part of my food money for the weekend. The brownies were claimed after my message; the tart came from someone who said they don't cook.

I don't want to arrive at a dinner made entirely of dessert. I also don't want being able to cook to mean my contribution is always the one that changes. There are six of us, and nobody has said what the host is providing. Should I agree to switch, offer to help arrange a shared main, or ask the whole group to revisit the plan? My mixing bowl is still empty, so there is time.

Discussion

2 community replies

What is the host already making? That missing answer comes before assigning you a replacement dish. The crisps may be an extra rather than the only savoury food. Ask what is still needed, then discuss that gap. You shouldn't have to redesign your contribution to solve a dinner whose full menu you haven't seen.

Being a confident cook is a reason to ask you; it isn't a reason your earlier promise disappears. You can say you're keeping the cake and ask whether two people could jointly bring a main. Someone who doesn't cook may still be happy to buy something the group chooses.

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