My partner dozed off with our baby on the sofa. How do we change the night routine without blaming each other?
Family“I was trying to let you sleep,” my partner said when I woke him with our six-week-old on his chest.
I put her on her back in her crib and sat beside him. He was frightened and apologised. We had both read the safe-sleep guidance, but we hadn't made a realistic plan for the point when either of us was too tired to keep holding her.
He has been taking the early part of the night, and I take the later part. We each keep extending our turn because waking the other person feels like giving up. Last night he moved to the sofa to avoid disturbing me and fell asleep before he meant to.
I don't want “be more careful” to be our entire answer. I also don't want him to stop taking a turn and leave us even more exhausted.
What should we agree for tonight, and what questions should we take to our baby's clinician about managing feeds and settling when neither of us can stay alert?