Our twins want different birthday plans for the first time. Does fair have to mean one shared party?
Family“You said it was my birthday too,” one of our twins said after I showed them the invitation draft.
They are turning twelve. One wants a noisy afternoon of garden games with classmates. The other wants three friends to make things at the kitchen table. Until now they have chosen a combined party, so I started designing another one before asking them separately.
Their father thinks two plans will double the cost and the organising. I don't want to promise that we can manage two full parties. I also don't want the quieter child to be told her idea is a small add-on to the main celebration.
They share several friends, but they disagree about whether separate invitations would feel awkward. Neither has invited anyone yet.
How can we work out a celebration that recognises both choices without making “equal” mean identical?