How much packing responsibility should our seven-year-old carry between two homes?
Parenting"Dad says did you look in the car?" our seven-year-old said down the phone. Her dad had asked her to ring me because her school reading book wasn't in her bag. I had already sent him a message asking whether it was at his house. Somehow she had become the conversation between us.
She spends school nights across both homes. We get along well enough to arrange pickups, but Monday mornings have brought three missing items in a month: a cardigan, a pencil case and now the reading book. Her dad wants her to pack from a picture checklist. I want an adult to check the bag before each handover. He says checking everything means she won't take responsibility.
I bought a second cardigan for $18, and we can keep pencils at both homes. The school sends one particular reading book, so buying duplicates won't solve that part. She needs it for reading at whichever home she's in.
Yesterday she said, "I'll just stay awake until everything is ready." Neither of us asked her to do that. I think she's trying to prevent another round of calls.
What could she reasonably own in this routine, and what should stay with us? I'd like a plan that gives her practice without making a missing book evidence that one parent or one child failed.