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How do I stop repeating the invented story of how my partner and I met?

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A friend asked what book we'd both been looking for when we met. I mumbled something about a novel and changed the subject. My partner and I actually met through a dating app. Months ago, she had joked that a bookshop sounded more romantic, and I went along when she told the story at dinner.

Now it has become the version people repeat. I don't mind keeping parts of our relationship private, but this isn't just leaving something out. We are supplying details about an afternoon that never happened, and I'm uncomfortable adding more whenever someone asks.

My partner says correcting it would make a harmless story look like a big deception. I think continuing makes the correction harder. I also recognise that I helped it become established, rather than saying something when it first came up.

How would you retire the story without humiliating her or claiming I was an unwilling participant? I would like the next conversation about how we met to be one I don't have to rehearse.

Discussion

2 community replies

Start with your partner, not with a surprise correction at the next dinner. Tell her that you went along before but don't want to keep inventing details. That owns your participation and makes your present limit clear without appointing her as the sole author of the problem.

Do you know what she likes about the bookshop version: its romance, its privacy, or avoiding reactions to the app? Ask before choosing how to correct it. You can be curious about that reason without agreeing that it requires you to keep telling the invented story.

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