Relationships · Advice & Questions · Oct 19

Can I ask my sister to tell me when our call is on speaker?

Relationships

Halfway through telling my sister about an awkward evening with a friend, her partner called from the kitchen, "I thought she seemed nice!" I hadn't realised he could hear us. I stopped talking.

My sister said I'd met him plenty of times and it wasn't a secret. She often puts calls on speaker while she makes dinner. I don't mind that when we're arranging lunch or talking about a television programme. I do mind finding out there was another listener after I'd started a more personal story.

I don't dislike her partner. I just choose what I tell him differently from what I tell my sister. How do I ask her to announce speakerphone at the start without sounding as if I'm accusing him of eavesdropping? And if she can't talk privately then, is it okay to save the story for later?

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2 community replies

@TheoInTransit

Ask about the audience, rather than accusing anyone of listening badly: "Could you tell me at the start if other people can hear? I choose what to share depending on who's there." That explains why a story needn't be a secret for the difference to matter.

@VeeOnTheGo

Her partner's comment may have been an ordinary response to a conversation he thought included him. Keep the request with your sister, who knew how the call was happening. You don't need to turn him into the offender to ask for clearer introductions.

Can I ask my sister to tell me when our call is on speaker?

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