How do I keep helping an older neighbour with groceries without choosing everything for her?
Neighbours“You've bought the small potatoes again,” my neighbour said, looking into the bag. “I wanted the big ones for baking.”
I had changed them because the small bag was easier to carry. I also bought a different bread because hers was sold out. She handed me the receipt and said, “If you can't get what I ask for, phone me.”
I collect a few groceries for her on Thursdays because I am going to the supermarket anyway. She pays me back as soon as I arrive. The list has grown from milk and bread to two bags of shopping, and choosing alternatives can turn my quick trip into a long phone call.
I caught myself saying, “It's only potatoes.” That wasn't fair. They were for the meal she wanted to make. At the same time, I can't keep adding half an hour to my own lunch break.
Can I offer a smaller arrangement: a few named items, no substitutions unless we have agreed one in advance, and another way for her to get a full shop? I don't want “I'll help” to mean I make her choices, or “choose for yourself” to mean I disappear.
