How do I explain that a birthday wishlist isn't an order when I encouraged my son to send one?
Parenting"But that wasn't on my list," my eight-year-old said when my sister gave him a book for his birthday.
I stopped him and thanked her. Later I told him the remark was unkind. He asked why I had made him send everyone a list if they weren't supposed to use it.
The list had started because relatives asked for ideas. I let him put a $65 building set at the top without discussing a price range or explaining that people might choose something else. My sister brought a book about the same subject, which I thought was a thoughtful choice. He thought the adults had changed the instructions after he followed them.
He can tell me privately that he wanted the set. I don't want him telling a giver that their present failed an order they never accepted. What would you explain about this particular birthday, and how would you handle future lists so his expectations aren't built on my vague directions?