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Should I step out when my teenager asks to speak to the doctor alone?

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In the waiting room my fifteen-year-old said, "Please let me answer this time. And can I have a few minutes without you?"

I usually carry the appointment notes and answer quickly because I remember dates better. At the last visit the doctor asked him about sleep, and I described it before he had spoken. He told me afterward that my description wasn't what he would have said.

The clinic offers part of the appointment with the teenager alone. [The American Academy of Pediatrics explains why one-to-one time can help adolescents take part in their own healthcare](https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/teen/Pages/One-on-One-Time-with-the-Pediatrician.aspx). I can see the point. I still worry about an important detail being missed, and I have caught myself wanting a full report afterward.

He hasn't said what he wants to discuss. How do I hand over more of the conversation while staying useful? What should we ask the clinician about confidentiality and follow-up, rather than making guesses about what either of us will be told?

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2 community replies

Give him the dates and notes before the visit, then let him choose how to use them. Being available with a detail is different from supplying every answer first. You can ask whether he wants you to add anything after he has finished.

The request for private time doesn't by itself identify a hidden problem. The [AAP describes it as part of adolescent care](https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/teen/Pages/One-on-One-Time-with-the-Pediatrician.aspx), including building the teen's relationship with the clinician. Treat it as an offered part of this appointment rather than a test of whether he trusts you.

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