How do I ask for cuddling that doesn't carry an expectation of sex?
RelationshipsI moved away when my partner put his arm around me on the sofa. He asked whether he'd done something wrong. I hadn't wanted distance from him; I'd wanted an evening where being close didn't feel like the first step towards sex.
He stops when I say I don't want to go further. But almost every long cuddle has become a sexual invitation, and I've started avoiding the cuddle to avoid declining the invitation. He says he feels confused because I used to initiate more touch.
I miss it too. I want to explain this before we both turn my hesitation into a story about whether I still fancy him. How can we make room for affectionate touch without a promised next step? I don't want to negotiate away the right to change my mind, and I don't want either of us guessing what a hand on the sofa means.