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AITA for secretly swapping my gift-exchange assignment because I was intimidated by the person I drew?

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I unfolded the paper, saw Leo's name and quietly traded it for a spare slip when everyone was choosing biscuits.

Our ten-person friend group was arranging a small holiday gift exchange. The host had prepared replacement slips in case anyone drew their own name. I hadn't drawn mine. Leo just gives very thoughtful presents, and I suddenly worried that whatever I bought would seem lazy beside them.

The slip I took had Amira's name. I knew exactly what she'd enjoy. I put Leo's slip into the spare pile and didn't tell the host.

After everyone left, the host checked the leftover slips against the assignments she'd privately recorded as they were drawn. She called me because Amira now had two givers and Leo had none. I admitted the switch. She had to contact the people affected and sort it out.

Leo later asked whether I'd avoided him because I didn't like him. I said it was the opposite: I felt under pressure to get him something especially good. He said he'd only wanted to join an uncomplicated exchange.

The host wants me to take Leo's name again. I will, but I also feel exposed about a silly worry I tried to manage quietly. AITA for treating the spare slips as an easy solution?

Discussion

2 community replies

The spare slips were there for a specific problem, and you knew you hadn't encountered it. Quietly using them created a missing giver and a duplicate assignment. That was more than privately choosing a gift you felt confident about.

Leo's thoughtful presents don't establish that he'd judge yours harshly. You describe pressure you felt, not criticism he'd made. It's worth keeping that difference clear when explaining why his name worried you.

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