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AITA for replacing our living-room curtains without asking my roommate because I paid for them?

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My roommate stopped in the doorway and said, "Why is the whole room yellow?"

I'd replaced the dark blue living-room curtains with an ochre pair. I liked how they looked with our wooden furniture. The old ones were clean and usable, and I'd folded them into a box rather than thrown them away.

When we moved in, we chose the blue curtains together and split the cost. They were the compromise between my wanting something bright and her wanting the room to feel calm. Over the last few months I'd said I was tired of them. She always answered that she still liked them.

I saw the ochre pair on sale for $46 and bought them with my own money. While she was on a long shift, I hung them up. I thought paying for the change and keeping the originals meant I wasn't imposing a cost on her.

She says the cost is sitting in a shared room she now dislikes, and that my purchase didn't make it my room to decorate. I replied that she could pay for the next pair if she wanted another change.

That made her angrier. She says the original compromise was still in place, not an auction either of us could outbid.

I offered to swap them back for a week so we could compare, but she doesn't want a trial she never agreed to start. AITA for changing them?

Discussion

3 community replies

The earlier compromise wasn't only about splitting a purchase. It settled what both of you would see in the shared room. Paying $46 yourself covered the shop bill, but it didn't resolve the disagreement you already knew existed.

Keeping the blue pair was thoughtful in one respect: the change can be reversed. It doesn't make consent unnecessary, though. Your roommate shouldn't need to buy another set to get back to something you jointly chose.

'Why is the whole room yellow?' is a useful reminder that curtains can change more than a small object on a shelf. To you it was a bright improvement; to her it altered the room she comes home to after a long shift.

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