Real people. Real opinions.
Browse WAURE
← Advice & Questions
Travel · Advice & Questions ·

Should we knock on the door of the house where Dad grew up?

Travel category photographTravel

On the drive towards a village outside Cork, Patrick takes a folded photograph out of his wallet. “If the door is still green, that's it. We can ask for a look round.”

His daughter Erin thought they were going to see the street where he grew up. He has not lived in the house for forty years and knows nothing about the current occupants. The photograph shows his mother beside the front step. He wants to see whether the apple tree is still in the garden.

They have arranged a driver for the afternoon, with a return time already agreed. Erin is comfortable looking from public places and visiting the village, but feels awkward arriving at a stranger's home with a request to go inside. Patrick says a polite knock lets the owner decide.

Would you suggest making contact before the day, keep the visit outside, or leave room for a brief introduction if it feels appropriate? Erin does not want to treat her father's memories as an embarrassing request, but the current residents did not book a role in their family reunion.

Discussion

2 community replies

A message or letter ahead of the visit would give the residents time to consider what, if anything, they want to offer. Patrick could include the old photograph and say that no visit inside is expected. If there is no answer, he should plan a meaningful afternoon that does not depend on access to somebody's home or garden.

Patrick's idea is not inherently insulting: he thinks asking is how you avoid assuming. Erin could acknowledge that before explaining why she would prefer advance contact. Otherwise they may argue about whether he is being rude when the real disagreement is about how much surprise to put on strangers.

Join the discussion

More in Travel