Should I keep dating someone who is certain about not having children when I'm undecided?
Relationships"I don't want you waiting for me to change my mind," my boyfriend said. We'd been talking about a friend's new baby. He has said since our first few dates that he doesn't want children. I said then that I didn't know what I wanted, which was true.
Six months later, I still don't know. I can picture a good life without children, and I can also picture wanting them. I like our relationship enough that the question now feels less abstract. He isn't pressuring me to agree with him, but he wants to know whether we're continuing while hoping for incompatible things.
I'm not secretly trying to persuade him. I am worried that I'll postpone thinking seriously because staying together feels good today. Ending a relationship over a future I might never want also feels like making a decision I can't justify yet.
What would a useful conversation look like when one person's answer is settled and the other's isn't? I don't want to offer certainty just to keep him, or treat his answer as a temporary position.