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How do I tell my partner I won't wear the jumper he made me?

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My partner held up a bright orange jumper and said, "I finally finished it." He'd taught himself to knit and spent evenings working on it. I hugged him, put it on and said it was lovely. I meant the effort. I didn't mean that I wanted to wear that colour outside the flat.

Two weeks later, he asked why I hadn't worn it to meet our friends. I said I was saving it. Now he has sent me a pattern for another one and asked which colour I want.

I usually dress in plain dark colours. He knows that, but orange is his favourite, and I think he pictured me looking cheerful in it. I don't want to treat his first knitted gift like a failed order. I also don't want to keep inventing occasions that never seem suitable.

Do I explain my taste now and risk making the original thank-you sound false? Or is wearing it occasionally a small thing to do for someone who made me something with such care?

Discussion

3 community replies

Your thank-you can have been sincere even if your answer about wearing it wasn't. Separate them: you were touched that he made it, and the colour isn't one you reach for. "I was saving it" is the part to correct before another jumper becomes another promise to wear.

Would you enjoy it as something cosy at home? That is a real use if it's one you want, not an excuse if it is another way to avoid ever putting it on. You don't have to turn every gift into public clothing to show that its effort mattered.

He has asked which colour you want for the next one, which is an opening you can use. Tell him your actual choice. It doesn't answer everything about the orange jumper, but it lets the next gift be something you'll reach for without turning the discussion into a review of his knitting.

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