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Should I get rid of letters from an ex to show my current partner I'm committed?

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While I was sorting a box of old things, I put several cards from my ex beside university photos. My partner asked why I was keeping them. I said they belonged to a period of my life I didn't want to erase. He said, "I wouldn't need love letters from someone else if I was happy now."

I haven't spoken to that ex in years. The relationship ended, and I don't want it back. The cards remind me of the person I was then as much as the person who wrote them. They live in a box, not on display, and my partner saw them because we were sorting things together.

He hasn't ordered me to throw them out. He says it would reassure him if I chose to. That makes the choice harder: keeping them now feels like refusing something that would mean a lot to him.

Is there a way to take his discomfort seriously without making disposal the test of whether I love him?

Discussion

1 community replies

What the letters mean to you is missing from his comparison. You can explain the university period and the reason they sit beside those photos. He may still dislike them, but he would be responding to your actual attachment rather than assuming you're keeping a relationship in reserve.

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