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Can I ask my partner to skip some board-game nights when he joined the club because of me?

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My partner found the board-game club through me, and now he checks the weekly sign-up before I do. Last Thursday he saved me a seat at his table. I had been looking forward to playing with two friends from the club, but I sat beside him because he'd already waved me over.

I used to go there on my own. It was one place where I wasn't anyone's other half. I loved that he enjoyed his first visit, so I encouraged him to come again. Now he comes every week and thinks it's become our thing.

Nobody else seems bothered. He chats to people independently and helps put the tables away. I'd feel strange telling him to leave a group where he's made his own friends. Still, when we arrive together, I slip into staying with him even when I had something else in mind.

Is there a way to get back some independent time at the club without asking him to give up a hobby he genuinely likes?

Discussion

2 community replies

He saved a seat; the post doesn't say he asked you to spend the evening beside him. Try declining the seat once: "I'm playing with Nisha and Ben tonight. See you afterwards." You may have more independence available than you've felt able to use.

I would hesitate to ask him to skip the club now that he has friendships there too. Your wish for something of your own makes sense, but you invited him into this particular group. Arriving separately or choosing different tables is a fairer first experiment than deciding whose attendance matters more.

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