Our hockey team makes plans at the pub after matches. How do I stay included when I go straight home?
Sports"We told everyone after the game," the captain said when I asked why the away-meet time had changed. Everyone apparently meant the six players who went to the pub. I'd gone home to take over childcare.
I like my adult field hockey team. I occasionally join the post-match meal, but I can't make it the price of knowing where we're meeting next Saturday. This is the second time a practical change has stayed at the table until someone mentioned it casually at training.
The captain says these aren't formal meetings; plans just develop while people talk. He already books fixtures and answers a lot of messages, so I don't want to add a second administrative job. Another player suggested I stay for one drink and leave, which doesn't solve the handover at home.
How do I ask for team arrangements to reach the team chat without sounding as though I'm objecting to the social part? I want the pub to stay optional even when the conversation becomes useful.