My brother's new dog frightens my daughter. Is it fair to ask for a dog-free visit?
Family“He just wants to say hello,” my brother said as his new dog jumped up and my nine-year-old stepped behind me.
We left after a short visit. The dog hadn't bitten her, but she didn't want to stay while he kept coming towards her. My brother was hurt because he had been excited to introduce the dog, and he thinks she will get used to him if we visit more.
He is hosting Mum's birthday tea next weekend. I asked whether the dog could be kept separately in a comfortable, secure space during our visit. He said that was like excluding a member of his household. He offered to hold the collar when we arrived, but we haven't discussed what happens for the rest of the afternoon.
My daughter wants to see her cousins and Grandma. She doesn't want to be given treats to hand to the dog as a condition of coming.
How do we plan the visit without making her demonstrate that she can stop being frightened? I don't want to tell my brother how to manage his whole home, but the proposed greeting doesn't answer what she needs.