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I want to stop playing rugby next season, but the team keeps calling it a temporary break. How do I make it clear?

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Our captain put me on the tentative squad and wrote, "We'll leave your spot open until you're ready." I'd told him I wasn't planning to play next season.

Nothing dramatic happened. I still like the team, and I enjoyed parts of the season. I just no longer want matches and training to organise most of my week. That feels harder to explain than an injury or a move would.

A teammate says I'll regret stopping while I still have something to offer. My partner says I sound relieved whenever a fixture is cancelled. They're both noticing something true: I can contribute, and I want the time back.

How would you describe this as a decision rather than a problem the team should solve? I'd like to stay friends and attend occasionally, but I don't want every visit to become a conversation about returning. I haven't promised to fill another club role, and I don't want to offer one just to soften the message.

Discussion

2 community replies

"I'm not joining the playing squad next season; please plan without me" answers the practical question. You can care about the team and still ask the captain to remove the tentative name. Leaving a spot open may feel kind to him but keeps your decision in a waiting room.

Being able to contribute is one reason you might stay. Wanting your week back is a reason you might leave. Neither observation invalidates the other. You don't need an injury or a crisis to make a choice about how much of your life this hobby gets.

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