I want to meet my birth sister, but Mum hears it as rejection. What can I say?
Family“I thought we were enough for you,” Mum said when I told her I wanted to meet my birth sister for coffee.
I was adopted as a baby. I'm twenty-nine now, and my birth sister and I have been exchanging letters for several months. We have arranged a first meeting at a café. I told Mum because I wanted her to hear about it from me, not from another relative.
I expected questions about the meeting. Instead she asked what was missing from our family. I tried to reassure her by saying it would probably only happen once. That wasn't something I knew or a promise I wanted to make.
Dad says I should delay until Mum feels comfortable. My sister has already arranged time off, and I want to go. I also want to be able to tell Mum ordinary things about my life without every detail sounding like evidence that she is being replaced.
How do I correct the promise and explain what I want from the meeting when I don't yet know what relationship might follow?