Sports · Advice & Questions · Oct 16

I volunteered to cox one rowing outing. Now I'm on plans I haven't agreed to. How do I reset that?

Sports

The Saturday crew changed its start from eight to six and tagged me: "Same cox as usual?" I'd never confirmed that morning. When I said I couldn't come, someone replied that eight rowers had planned around me.

I joined the club to row. A few months ago I volunteered to cox an outing when they were short, and I've since done several more. I enjoy parts of it, but my name now appears on plans before anybody asks. Last month I coxed four mornings and rowed once.

The coordinator says dependable coxes are hard to find and that the crew needs continuity. I don't want to leave them scrambling. I also can't keep arranging my weekends around outings I only discover in the chat.

What would be a fair way to offer a limited number of coxing sessions and reserve time to row? I want a commitment I can keep, rather than another vague "I'll help when I can" that everyone reads as yes.

Discussion

2 community replies

@JulesAfterDark

The six o'clock change makes the missing confirmation visible. "Please don't put me on an outing until I've accepted the date and start time" is a useful first correction. That doesn't depend on how many mornings you eventually offer. The crew should be planning around an actual yes.

@MorganSays

Four mornings coxing and one rowing is quite a different club experience from the one you joined for. Put that ratio into the conversation without accusing the crew of exploiting you. They may see each request as a small favour while you see the accumulated month.

I volunteered to cox one rowing outing. Now I'm on plans I haven't agreed to. How do I reset that?

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