Real people. Real opinions.
Browse WAURE
← Advice & Questions
Confessions · Advice & Questions ·

I invented a work call to leave my farewell dinner. Now my friends think they planned it badly

Confessions category photographConfessions

My friend handed me the dessert menu and asked if I could stay just ten more minutes. I held up my phone and said the call really couldn't wait. There was no call.

It was a farewell dinner before I moved to another city. I'd been enjoying myself, but after two hours I felt finished: too many conversations, too many questions about whether I was excited, too much effort to keep looking cheerful. I wanted to walk home alone. Saying that at a dinner people had planned for me felt impossible, so I invented a late work problem.

I left before dessert. Yesterday one of the organizers asked if the restaurant had been too noisy. She said they'd worried I'd been uncomfortable and wondered whether they should have chosen somewhere quieter. Another friend offered a smaller goodbye lunch to make up for it.

Now they're trying to repair something they don't know happened. I don't want another event. I do want them to know I valued the dinner, which sounds unconvincing beside 'I lied so I could leave it.'

Do I explain the made-up call, or would a clear thank-you and declining the lunch be enough? I can't tell whether confessing would reassure them or just replace their worry with a more personal hurt.

Discussion

1 community replies

The lunch offer shows why a thank-you alone may not settle this. Your friends are still trying to fix a supposed planning failure. You could say, 'The dinner was lovely. I ran out of energy and wanted to go home, but I was embarrassed to say that and made up the call. You didn't choose the wrong restaurant.' They can then respond to what actually happened.

Join the discussion

More in Confessions