How do I let my child join the birthday party without guessing about the cake?
Health"Can't she just have the icing?" the birthday child's father asked. "I'd hate for her to be left out."
My seven-year-old has a diagnosed peanut allergy. Her school has her clinician's allergy action plan, and her teacher knows about it. This classroom party is on Friday. The cake is coming from a bakery that has not supplied the ingredients for its decorations, and the other parent is offering suggestions because he wants everyone included.
I have offered to bring a cupcake we already use under her existing plan. My daughter wants to sing, play the games and sit with her friend; she does not want a speech about her lunchbox. The other parent says a visibly different cupcake will make her feel singled out.
[NHS guidance says to check ingredients and tell school about a food allergy, and describes the specialist's allergy action plan](https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/food-allergy/). I am not going to treat a reassuring guess about icing as clearance.
What I need is wording that keeps the invitation warm while making clear that the food decision follows her plan. I would also like the adults to settle it before Friday, without asking her to explain the medical details to the room.