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How do I ask for private breastfeeding help when my mother wants to watch?

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My mother said, "I'll stay for the health visitor. I can tell her what I've noticed."

I had arranged the visit because breastfeeding hurts at every feed. My mother has been bringing lunch, folding washing and answering the door. I need that help. I do not want a feeding assessment to become a discussion between her and the visitor while I sit holding the baby.

[NHS advice says to seek help promptly from a midwife, health visitor or breastfeeding supporter when nipples hurt at every feed](https://www.nhs.uk/baby/breastfeeding-and-bottle-feeding/breastfeeding-problems/sore-nipples/). I want to explain the pain myself and ask what the assessment finds, rather than accept another relative's theory about what I must be doing wrong.

The visitor is coming tomorrow afternoon. Mum will already be here, and asking her to step out at the door could feel abrupt.

How would you ask for private time without implying that the meals and practical help are unwanted?

Discussion

1 community replies

Tell her before the visit: "The lunches have been such a help. I want the feeding part to be private so I can explain everything freely. Could you give me that time and we can talk afterwards about any help I want?" Keep the thanks specific and the request clear.

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