Friends are sending meals after a bereavement, but the family doesn't want another casserole. Should we stop the rota?
Food"Please don't send any more trays," my friend's brother wrote in our meal group. We'd organised dinners after their dad died. The fridge was full, containers were waiting to be returned, and their mum wanted toast that evening.
Two people had already cooked for tomorrow. One said cancelling would be hurtful because everyone was trying to help. I was the person who'd started the rota, so I felt responsible for both the unwanted meals and the work already done.
Nobody had actually asked which days the family wanted food. We'd guessed that daily deliveries would make life easier. Now I'm wondering whether the helpful thing is to stop promptly, ask about groceries, or leave them alone for a while. How do I tell the group that our plan needs to change without making the family manage everyone's disappointment?