Weddings · Advice & Questions · Oct 19

Do I uninvite a wedding guest after she saw an unkind message I wrote about her?

Weddings

My partner sent our friend a screenshot about hotel check-in. Above it was my message saying, "She'll find a way to make the wedding about herself."

I had been venting because she'd asked several questions we'd already answered. I was unkind, and the screenshot wasn't her fault. I apologised. She replied that she was hurt and needed a few days before answering about the wedding.

It's twelve days away. My first reaction was that perhaps she shouldn't come now because we'd both be uncomfortable. My partner said that sounded like punishing her for seeing what I'd written.

I don't think I want her excluded. I want to stop imagining the moment we see each other. How do I leave the invitation open without making her reassure me that the day will be fine?

Discussion

3 community replies

@northstar88

Don't withdraw the invitation to relieve your own anticipation of an awkward greeting. Tell her it remains open and that you understand she may choose not to attend. Then give her the few days she asked for.

@softfocus

It may help to acknowledge the actual sentence in your apology, if you haven't already. "Sorry the screenshot upset you" would leave the thing you wrote untouched.

@JulesAfterDark

Her questions may have frustrated you, and you can decide how much planning detail you want to answer in future. That doesn't make the comment fair or require her to agree that she was being difficult.

Do I uninvite a wedding guest after she saw an unkind message I wrote about her?

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