Our families want a reason our wedding is alcohol-free and the reason is private

We are having an alcohol-free wedding.

My family keeps calling it a budget decision.

It is not.

Neither my fiancé nor I drinks. He stopped several years ago because alcohol was making his life worse. I stopped later because I preferred our life without it. We do not require other people to make the same choice.

We also do not want to host alcohol at our wedding.

The reception will have a full dinner, coffee, sparkling drinks and a bar serving nonalcoholic cocktails. We hired a DJ and expect people to dance. The event is not designed as punishment with chairs.

My father says guests will assume we are saving money.

We are saving money. Not buying alcohol does cost less. That does not make cost the reason.

His concern is hospitality. Many relatives expect wine with dinner and a toast with something stronger than sparkling cider. He thinks inviting adults to a Saturday evening wedding without warning them is unfair.

I agree about the warning.

We added “Alcohol-free celebration” to the website. My mother asked us to remove it because it sounds defensive. She suggests saying nothing and letting guests discover the bar menu.

That feels more likely to create disappointment.

My uncle has already joked about keeping a cooler in his car. My cousin asked whether guests may bring flasks. My father says he cannot police adults.

Neither can I. I can state that outside alcohol is not allowed at the venue and ask people to respect the event.

The harder conversation is why. My fiancé does not want his history announced. Some family members know he stopped drinking. Few know the details, and they do not need them.

When we say “This is simply our preference,” relatives treat the preference as negotiable. When we imply that alcohol would be personally difficult, they stop arguing and start asking questions we do not want to answer.

My fiancé says we should stop trying to make everyone agree. State the format, provide good drinks and let people decide whether to attend.

I support that until I imagine an uncle leaving after dinner to drink somewhere else and returning louder.

We considered ending the reception earlier. That would make it feel more like a dinner celebration and reduce the period people associate with open-bar dancing. I resent changing the shape of our wedding to make the absence of alcohol seem more natural.

Our DJ says sober dance floors can be lively if the music begins before people settle into long conversations. That is practical advice, not a guarantee. We may have fewer dancers. I can live with that.

What I do not want is to spend the engagement defending the reception as a real party.

Would you make the alcohol-free format prominent, mention it once on the website or say nothing? How do we set a firm boundary without disclosing a private recovery story as the evidence that makes the boundary legitimate?