Our families disagree about using titles on wedding place cards

Our place cards currently say first and last names.

Our parents want titles.

My mother says omitting Doctor from my aunt's card is disrespectful after decades of education. My future father-in-law says married couples should be listed as Mr. and Mrs. when they share a surname. Several friends use Mx., and one guest is a judge who does not use the title socially.

The simplest system is the one we already have: the name each guest gave us on the RSVP.

Our parents think simplicity is becoming an excuse to remove formality. They want the tables to look like a wedding dinner, not a conference where everyone printed a badge.

I did not know honorifics were carrying the full burden of romance.

The practical problem is accuracy. We know some professional titles and not others. We know which married names certain relatives use because they have corrected us. We do not know every guest's preference well enough to apply a formal system without guessing.

We could ask everyone. The wedding is five weeks away, and sending a title survey feels like inventing administrative work to satisfy a decorative principle.

My fiancé suggested using titles only for people whose professional role appears elsewhere, such as the officiant. That creates a hierarchy at dinner and still leaves social titles unresolved.

The stationer says first and last names are common, clear and easier to alphabetize. She can use a formal typeface if our parents need the names to look as though they dressed up.

My aunt told me she does not care whether her card says Doctor. My mother cares on her behalf because she believes recognition should not depend on asking for it.

That is a generous idea and a dangerous data-management policy.

Names are already personal. Using the correct chosen name may be more respectful than adding a title based on our assumption about profession, gender or marriage.

Would you keep names only, ask guests for preferences or use titles for a limited formal group? When a tradition meant to show respect requires guessing how people want to be addressed, does removing the tradition become the more respectful choice?