My teenager expects an immediate reply to every text except mine

At 3:18, my fourteen-year-old texted asking whether he could move the game console into his room.

At 3:20, he sent a question mark.

At 3:23, he called.

I was in a work meeting. There was no problem at home. He wanted an answer before starting a game with his friend.

When I replied afterward, he said I could have taken two seconds to say yes or no.

The previous evening, I had sent him a question about which jacket he wanted washed. He answered after dinner. When I reminded him, he said he hadn't been looking at his phone.

I accept that answer. I would like him to recognize it when somebody else gives it.

But I also noticed a detail I wanted to skip. I have sent him a second message saying “please answer” when I needed to finish an ordinary household task. I wasn't always responding to an urgent situation either. Sometimes I just wanted to close a decision.

Apparently we have been operating a family service where everybody believes their request should move to the front of the line.

I don't want a rule requiring either of us to stare at a phone. I want ordinary requests to tolerate an ordinary delay.

That doesn't mean he can change the answer to yes because I haven't replied. It means he waits, does something else or asks at a time when we can actually talk.

We've started distinguishing a request for permission from information that needs a response by a particular time. If there is a deadline, we can say what it is. “My friend wants to start now” can be relevant without obliging me to leave a meeting.

I have also stopped sending follow-up punctuation about laundry. I can finish another task while I wait.

Would you agree on a usual time to check nonurgent questions, or simply make it clear that silence is neither refusal nor permission? I don't want to solve a question-mark problem with a complicated family messaging policy. I want us both to stop treating a phone as proof that the other person is available.