My son keeps telling his friends I said no when he never asked me

My ten-year-old told his friend he couldn't come over because I said no.

I hadn't said no. I hadn't heard about the invitation.

I found out when the other parent asked whether another day would work. I was holding a bag of groceries, trying to remember a conversation that had apparently happened without me.

In the car, my son admitted he hadn't wanted to go. He likes the friend. He didn't want to spend another afternoon playing the same game, and he thought saying I wouldn't let him was easier.

I understand the appeal. A parent makes an excellent obstacle. We can be unreasonable, unavailable and inconvenient without losing much standing at a fifth-grade lunch table.

The part I don't like is finding myself in a conversation where I either maintain his invented answer or expose him.

I told the other parent we'd have to check another day. I didn't correct the story in front of the children. Then I asked my son what he thought I should say if she asked why I had refused.

He suggested that I could say I was busy.

So his first solution to the lie was a second lie with better supporting detail.

I don't need him to tell his friend that their game is boring. I also don't think declining an invitation requires a complete account of his feelings about the friendship. “I don't want to today” might be honest, but I can hear why it feels harsh to him.

Would “I'm staying home today” be enough? It says what is happening without turning me into the person who decided it.

I have told him he can ask me for help saying no. If he wants me to handle a message between parents, we can agree on the answer first. That is different from discovering afterward that I have been cast as the villain.

I also need to check my own example. I have said “we have plans” when our plan was to stay home. He has heard that. I can't insist that he learn an honest way to decline while pretending all my convenient answers are transparent.

How would you untangle the current excuse without requiring him to confess to an entire lunch table? I want a better answer ready for next time. I don't want every invitation to become a trial about whether he likes someone enough.