My sister labels every request a family emergency, and now I hesitate when she calls

My sister texted ‘FAMILY EMERGENCY—CALL ME’ while I was presenting at work. I stepped out expecting a hospital, an accident or news about our parents.

She needed the confirmation number for a hotel reservation we had made for our aunt. Check-in was in four hours. The email was also in her inbox.

I was angry, and she said I was focusing on wording instead of helping. According to her, an emergency is anything time-sensitive that affects family. By that definition, the phrase has covered a missing casserole dish, a cousin needing a ride to the train, our father forgetting his streaming password and whether we could add one person to a brunch reservation.

The requests are not always ridiculous. Some do need a quick response. The problem is that she uses the same alarm for everything, then treats any delay as proof that other people do not care.

Last month I silenced my phone during a movie after she had sent three urgent messages about table linens. When I checked later, there was another message saying Dad had fallen in his yard. He was shaken but okay and a neighbor was with him. I called immediately, but the fifteen minutes it took me to see the message felt much longer. My sister said, ‘This is why you answer when I say emergency.’

I said this is why she cannot use the word for table linens. She replied that I was blaming her for my decision to ignore my phone. We have been stuck there ever since.

Our brother has solved the issue by calling her every time, then hanging up if the request is minor. Mum says that keeps the peace. It also trains my sister that the alarm works.

I want a family definition: immediate danger, urgent health or safety concern, or a situation where a delay could cause serious harm. Everything else can be ‘time-sensitive’ with the deadline included. My sister says families are not workplaces and refuses to use categories.

I am not trying to build a corporate ticketing system for relatives. I am trying to make sure my body does not flood with fear because somebody cannot find a booking email. How do I enforce a distinction when the person creating the alarms benefits from keeping them all loud?