My sister keeps announcing my life news before I can tell anyone myself

I told my sister about my promotion on Tuesday because she had listened to me complain about the interview process for two months. I asked her not to say anything until I had signed the final paperwork and told our parents.

On Wednesday morning my dad called and said, ‘So, director now?’

My sister had told him during their drive to Costco. She said she was proud and it slipped out. Then Dad told Mum, Mum told my aunt, and by lunchtime I was receiving congratulations for a job I had not formally accepted.

The paperwork arrived that afternoon and everything was fine. That almost made the problem harder to explain, because my sister acted as though the good outcome had erased the broken promise. She said, ‘See? I knew it was real.’

This is a pattern. She told our cousins when I got engaged before my fiancé and I had called them. She posted a photo of my new apartment after I sent it privately and asked whether I should take the place. Years ago, she announced that I was moving home after college while I was still deciding. Every incident is framed as excitement, never malice.

The family loves her for it. She is the person who knows birthdays, remembers appointments and keeps everyone updated. If I object, I sound like I want people to care less. My mother says my sister’s enthusiasm is one of her best qualities and suggests I stop telling her anything until it is public.

That is the obvious solution, but it changes the relationship. My sister is the person I want to call during the unfinished stage, when news is still hope or fear instead of an announcement. I want support before I have a press release.

I told her this after the promotion incident. She cried and said she feels I am punishing her for being happy for me. Then she promised to do better and asked what other relatives had said. Within minutes, the conversation had moved from my trust to her hurt feelings.

I do not need a dramatic apology. I need a way to tell whether she can actually hold information that is not hers to distribute. Do I give her one more low-stakes chance with an explicit embargo, or accept that loving her means dividing my life into what I can share and what I want to announce myself?