My parents moved ten minutes away and announced that Sundays belong to the family now

My parents lived two states away for most of my adult life. We talked every week, visited four or five times a year and occasionally wished we were closer. Apparently, they heard that wish as a standing invitation to reorganize our lives around each other.

In August they bought a condo ten minutes from my house. They showed me the listing only after their offer was accepted. I was surprised, but also genuinely happy. My mother has arthritis that makes their old stairs difficult, my father was tired of yard work, and the new place is bright and manageable.

During their first week here, Mum said, ‘We thought Sundays could be family day.’ She had already ordered a dining table large enough for my husband and me, my brother’s family and any visiting relatives. I said some Sundays would be lovely. She replied, ‘Well, obviously not when you’re away.’

We have now had eight Sunday dinners in nine weeks. Two were enjoyable. Three were fine. The rest happened because declining caused a discussion longer than the dinner. When I said we had tickets to a concert, Dad asked why we had chosen a Sunday when we knew they were nearby. When my husband wanted a quiet weekend after travel, Mum delivered soup and stayed for forty minutes because she was ‘already in the neighborhood.’

My parents insist they did not move solely for me. The condo is near good friends and activities they like. Yet every boundary becomes evidence that they made a mistake. Mum says they gave up their community to be part of our lives. Dad asks what the point of living close is if we need calendars to see each other.

I feel trapped by gratitude for a decision I did not help make. I want spontaneous coffee and the ability to help when they need it. I do not want a weekly attendance requirement that slowly turns proximity into custody of my time.

My brother lives forty minutes away and comes about twice a month. Mum calls that understandable because of the children. My husband and I do not have children, so our weekends appear vacant from the outside.

How do I reset expectations after the pattern has already formed? I want to say we can commit to one Sunday dinner a month and make other plans as they arise. How do I say that without accepting the premise that their move purchased a claim on our schedule?