My mentor repeated my private career doubts to my manager

I asked a senior colleague to mentor me because she had moved through several roles I was considering.

In our third conversation, I told her I was unsure whether management was right for me. I said I enjoyed leading projects but disliked the amount of performance administration I saw in formal management roles. I asked how she had decided.

Two days later, my manager said, “I hear you may be reconsidering the leadership path.”

I knew immediately where it came from. I had not discussed that question with anyone else at work.

My manager was not angry. She said she wanted to make sure I was not placed on projects that no longer matched my goals. I told her I had not changed my goals; I had been using a mentoring conversation to think through them. She nodded, but the conversation had already shifted. A private question had become career information in the hands of someone who assigns opportunities.

When I asked my mentor why she shared it, she looked surprised. She said she and my manager regularly discuss my development and that she thought the context would help. She also said she had not promised confidentiality.

That is technically true. We never established rules. I assumed that a conversation labeled mentoring would allow some uncertainty before it became a workplace conclusion. She assumed mentoring was part of the company’s talent process.

I am now reviewing everything else I told her: which assignments frustrate me, which senior leaders I find difficult, and where I think my skills are weak. None of it was scandalous. All of it sounds different when repeated without the question that prompted it.

I do not want to accuse her of betrayal if we entered the relationship with different definitions. I also cannot continue speaking honestly under the current arrangement.

I plan to tell her that I need a clear boundary before another meeting: what stays between us, what she may share, and whether she is expected to report development themes to my manager. If the company cannot offer confidential mentoring, I would rather know and use the meetings for practical advice only.

Would you continue after resetting the boundary, or treat the mismatch as permanent? What should a workplace mentor disclose about how the relationship connects to management before asking someone to talk openly?