My girlfriend keeps turning our private jokes into social media posts, and now I edit myself around her

My girlfriend makes short comedy videos online. She is good at it. Her following is not enormous, but it is large enough that strangers sometimes recognize her at local events.

When we started dating, I liked being part of the material. She made a video about the way I pronounce a particular grocery-store name, and I laughed harder than anyone. I have appeared in the background of clips and helped her choose captions.

Somewhere along the way, the camera stopped feeling like a separate activity.

A month ago, I told her about a mistake I made at work. I had joined a video call with the wrong display name and did not notice until my manager messaged me. She turned the story into a post that night. She changed the company and the meeting details, but my friends knew it was me.

I asked her not to use work stories without checking. She apologized and took it down. I thought that solved it.

Last weekend, we were assembling a bookshelf. I misread the instructions and attached one panel backward. She filmed the tilted shelf, then pointed the camera at me while laughing. I told her not to post it. She said she was only recording for us.

On Monday, the clip appeared in a compilation called ‘living with a man who fears instructions.’ My face was cropped out, but my voice and our living room were obvious. It was funny. That almost made the anger harder to explain.

She says I am acting as though she exposed a secret when she posted an ordinary couple moment. She also says her videos help pay for trips and dinners we both enjoy. I said the money does not turn our apartment into a set.

Since then, I have noticed myself going quiet when she reaches for her phone. I do not tell the full version of a story because I am already imagining the caption. Yesterday, she asked why I never joke around with her anymore. I said because I no longer know which moments are ours.

That hurt her. She thinks I am rejecting a creative part of her life that I once encouraged. She offered to let me approve any post that includes my face or name. I do not think that goes far enough. A story can belong to me even if viewers cannot identify me. A conversation can feel private even when it is not a secret.

I also do not want to require a formal consent process every time she mentions having a boyfriend. That would make her work impossible and turn me into an anxious editor.

What boundary would actually work here? Should she ask before using any moment that happened between us, or is there a narrower line that protects intimacy without treating ordinary shared life as jointly copyrighted?